that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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