I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
