Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
