and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
