Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
