At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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