Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
