I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
