Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
