I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
