Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
