Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
