CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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