I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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