After last night, I could never be a politician.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
