doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Panties = found
Randomize
