Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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