If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
the raccoons are back...
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