a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
thus making me awesome and them whores
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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