Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
