Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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