Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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