Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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