Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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