so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just high enough for therapy.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
