it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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