Small penises have feelings too.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
