Me too!
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
do herpes really smell.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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