I'm pants shitting drunk right now
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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