pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
