Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
