so that wasnt chicken after all
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
