I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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