his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
