you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
