my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
