alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
