i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
