Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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