dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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