Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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