Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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