is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
