god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
