the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
