found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
