My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just want nice things and good sex
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
