dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
