i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
