was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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