Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
