I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
